Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Back in the summer of 2010, I was feeling lonely and hopeless.

I guess I was depressed, but I was not desperate or suicidal.  I was just really unhappy.  And it sounds ridiculous and obvious to say, but I was so tired of being unhappy.  I was weary of showing up to my unpaid summer position at a government office that offered no hope for a post-graduation job.  I had to pick my classes and nothing interested me. I had to apply for jobs, but there were virtually none available to apply for.  And the worst part was knowing that I had another year of this ahead of me.

Two years prior to that, I was in my early twenties.  I was happy, healthy had great friends, and a dead-end but stable job in a city I loved.  Fast forward to 2010 and I was in a city I had come to dislike, lonely, gaining weight and run ragged by stress and regret.  I wanted those two years back more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.  I wanted a do-over, a reset button.  For the first time in my life, I just felt old.  I wasn't.  Not exactly, anyway.  But it dawned on me in a way that it never had before that we only get one shot at life, and that I had wasted two years doing something I ended up despising, and was about to waste a third.  I felt that I had squandered the happiness and contentment I had obtained in what I know see was a relatively charmed life after college.

The law school scam-busting blogs have done an immense service by warning people about the risk of attending law school.  But on a selfish level, when I started my blog, it just felt really good to be a part of something productive.  Unhappiness can be so isolating.  Suddenly, when I would write a post, I could check the stats and see that people were reading my thoughts.  Sometimes those people were reading my thoughts at 3:30 in the morning.  It made me feel so much less alone to know that even a few people cared about what I had to say.  And while I am under no illusion that people have been waiting with bated breath, frantically refreshing my blog for months on end in the hopes that I would update again,  I do feel a little bad that I left the readers I had hanging.

I graduated from law school almost 15 months ago.  It took me four months to find a job.  It is a non-legal job, which is what I was looking for.  I am enjoying it, and I feel some of the "spark" coming back.  But the sad truth is that the happier and more active I got, the less I could muster up the energy for blogging.  Not because I no longer held the same opinions, but because I wanted to put the past behind me.  I did not want to let my law school mistake define so much of my life.  But it occurs to me that my experiences with college, school, job hunting and unemployment should be heard.  Not because I am anything special, but because they provide another perspective for people who are contemplating a major personal and financial undertaking. I would be doing a disservice if I never update my readers.  If even one person would benefit from my experiences and forgo law school, I owe it to that person to at least attempt to update with some frequency, if not strict regularity.

I hope that all of my readers are doing well, and I apologize if I have not been terribly responsive to comments or email.  I thought I was better off trying to let go of the past, but you know what they say about that:  Those that fail to remember the past are condemned to repeat it.  Maybe by talking about my own experiences, I will spare someone the pain of repeating my mistakes!

Please do keep in touch!

Rose

25 comments:

  1. When I first started reading the scamblogs, yours was one of the first. Thanks for putting this stuff out there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Happy to see a new post and congratulations. It is good to see some of the original scam bloggers moving on because it is a reminder to the rest of us that while it may never be the great outcome we thought it would be, at least it can get better. I still do my daily scam blog check by going to BIDER and then running through the blog roll even thought they did not post for months. Old habits die hard I guess

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is good to see you return. I hope to see consistent entries. My wife sometimes tells me to stop blogging. However, I need to inform others about the "higher education" industrial complex.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Glad to see you're back.

    To 11:10 PM, yeah, life moves on, but as Rose noted, you never get the best years of your life back.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for the update. You are doing a great service by writing this blog. I think there should be a national "walk-out day" at every single law school in the country, as they all falsely report their employment data. :) Also, remember that you are not that old (I'm assuming you are in your 20s or 30s) you have the rest of your life to have a job, career, goals, ambitions etc.. I bet you have another 50 years! So while law school has not turned out well, we are still smart young people with years ahead of us.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Rose - Glad to see you were able to escape the misery of being an unemployed JD faster than some of the rest of us. Things definitely do get better - if you're able to get into a good field and try aggressively to advance.

    Of course, you can never get those law school years back, and even if the debt isn't oppressive, it's still depressing to know you're making payments that could go to a mortgage or even buying three to four luxury cars.

    I hope you continue to provide us updates.

    ReplyDelete
  7. good article thanks for share 'Back in the summer of 2010, I was feeling lonely and hopeless"
    Kacamata Mp3

    ReplyDelete
  8. Did you ever take the Bar Exam? Just curious.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love reading your blog, Rose. I can totally relate to the feeling of just wanting to put that past behind you, which is why I often take long breaks from updating my blog. I'm so glad you're feeling a spark again. Please keep posting, even if it's about what you're doing in the non-legal world. I think it's good for people to know there is life after the law.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just want to say thanks for your blog...I am currently in that lonely and hopeless state praying for a $42k a year non-legal interview to go well in two weeks...I feel sad all the time for missing out on three years of life...and am finding it very hard to let go of...

    ReplyDelete
  11. My wife first told me about the term "Rose-Colored Glasses" I'd love to actually get a nice pair of glasses in Ottawa and get them in the rose color. I wonder if they even do that. Do you know?

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is some cool picture! I have been looking into eyeglasses calgary to get for my son! And I think he wants some like this! Can you tell me where I can find more pictures with glasses just like this? Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  13. nice post thanks for sharing with us!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I appreciate your sharing your insights on this glasses ottawa blog. Thanks for all your help and encouragement!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hey Rose really happy about you and happy to see your new post as well. By the way glassesusa coupons code codes and money off packages allow the potential consumers to avail high discounts. Find Glasses there you would definitely like it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks so much for posting this great information! I have been really interested in finding good eyeglasses in Edmonton... I heard that they have really good deals there!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'd love to learn a little more about this kind of stuff. I've never dealt much with eyeglasses in Edmonton, I guess we'll find out soon enough how it's all going to go.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Great information. I am trying to find some Edmonton eyeglasses That are stylish. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is a great article! My wife has been looking for glasses in Elizabeth City NC like this. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your blog is a great help Rose. I just wish I knew where to start when looking for a non law job:(

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thanks for the post, and I've been looking at some of the eyeglasse stores in Edmonton. But I don't quite know where to start looking exactly.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Great work and keep it up. I am looking for glasses in Elizabeth City nc. They are for my aunt and I really want to help her find some good ones. She never will get herself great glasses and she deserves them for all that she does.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Can you please update us and let us know how the law job is going? I graduated in 2011, worked for peanuts at a small miserable little firm, & currently do law marketing for another firm - again getting paid less than $50k. I went to a top-ranked school. Law school destroyed my life.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hello there – It's great to peruse such intriguing stuff on the Internet as I have had the ability to run across here. I concur with much of what is composed here and I'll be returning to this site once more. Much appreciated again for posting such extraordinary perusing material!! To get new data visit he

    I also gotten a great art and awesome colored glass.


    on Glass--
    colored glass



    ReplyDelete
  25. Present day individuals are selective when deciding on metal glasses since they are one of the main equipment of males, females and kids.

    ReplyDelete