I woke up this morning to sweltering heat and an email telling me that my bi-weekly work study paycheck has been deposited. Super. Now I just need to figure out whether to borrow the remainder of my rent money from my boyfriend or my parents.
Anyway, it got me thinking about my summer job (which, incidentally, is not a bad place to work) and I realized that there is another group of people to be pitied. So much of my frustration and disappointment has stemmed from the fact that, even leaving aside the financial ruin I have set up for myself, I just don’t like studying law. It just doesn’t interest me. Okay, maybe in some abstract way some of the legal history we study is interesting. But not one of my law school classes has really captured my interest the way I was promised one would. No practice area has made me say to myself: “Now THAT is what I want to do with my life!”
In some way, I have resigned myself to the huge mistake I made. The ones I feel sorry for today are the ones who love it, the ones who did find the class or classes that captured their passion. The ones who go into their summer job every day and really like what they do. Because they are just as screwed as I am, job wise, but with the added disadvantage of actually caring whether or not the position they some day obtain is a legal position. At this point, I just want a job when I graduate, in some city along the eastern seaboard. (I know even that is a tall order these days.) It is infuriating that after all of the time and money I invested in this degree I have to think that way, but it is what it is. At least I know that if I end up not practicing law, I won’t be missing out from a career satisfaction standpoint. For the others, this summer of slave labor is a cruel tease.